Nobody Asked You, Patrice!

You know what I find somewhat interesting? How quickly moods can change. I mean, how one can go from being seemingly happy and fine with everything to wanting to cry their eyes out within the space of a minute or so.

That's what I have found anyway, especially in the past couple of days.

During the day at uni, I am all good. I am in classes, trying to learn, or trying to stay awake in the case of PSYC1040 (Research Methods & Statistics 1...). During breaks I usually see a couple of my friends, eat some lunch, go study in the library and after all my classes, I go home. I feel pretty good during the day, albeit usually tired. Then, once I get on the bus or train, my mood just... plummets. Especially the train, lately. It seems like, when I am around others, I can feel OK, but once I am left alone with my own thoughts, everything that has been upsetting me lately just pops into my head and doesn't leave until I'm surrounded by other people and activities.

I guess it's the fact that being at university, around people and learning distracts my mind but when I am alone, there is nothing to distract me.

So, there are a couple of things that have happened in my life in the past month or two that have been... hard to deal with and those are the things that have been jumping into my mind several times a day. When I think about it, the only word I can use to describe it is 'haunting'. Sounds kinda creepy... But, it feels like these things are haunting me. Especially one thing. It feels like this... 'person' is haunting me and will not leave me alone. I feel like the only thing that will get rid of it is some sort of closure, but I have no clue how to get that.

On Sunday I got some kind of closure about another that has been upsetting me and that isn't worrying me as much. It is still upsetting, but I am feeling better about it and trying to think that it will be OK.

I got some sort of closure about another thing on Friday and am slowly getting better in that regard.

That just leaves one thing...

I've told my mum about these things upsetting me and how I'm sick of feeling sad about them and how I feel I shouldn't still upset about them and she has told me that it's OK to be sad.

I mean, I know that, but there's a difference between not thinking it's OK to be sad and just being sick of it. I'm over it and do not know how I can get this stuff to stop haunting my mind.

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So, I have finally found a new anime that I am really into and am slowly catching up with, which is really cool. It is called Ano Natsu de Matteru (Waiting in the Summer) and it is about a group of friends who meet a new girl and her strange friend and decide to film a movie together. The main guy has obvious feelings for the new girl who begins living with him but it turns out she is an alien, though no one knows yet (I've only seen 4 episodes). It is actually quite good and really quite funny. Also... LOVE TRIANGLES FTW, yo. I needed a romance-y anime, since the only other one I've been watching lately is Another which is horror.

OH! I forgot about Chihayafuru... I'm so behind in that. Even though I didn't love it, I feel like I need to finish it, even though I have my own ideas on how it will end... It's probably finished by now. Whoops.

Just checked and it's not finished yet, haha.

Well, I think I have to go cook risotto now... Mmm. Hopefully it is good :)

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My risotto was delicious :)   I'm off to bed now as tomorrow I must arise for church and then go out for lunch to celebrate my grandmother's 82nd or 83rd (I keep forgetting) birthday :)

... And then come home and study *sigh*