I thought it might finally be time to start blogging again. I've wanted to for awhile, but I can never think of anything worth blogging about. I don't have much worth blogging about now either, but whatever. I shall talk about the events of my life from Thursday night on.
On Thursday night, I met up with Tenuto Tuo, Phantomess, Miss Invisible and... (this friend hasn't been mentioned on here before and doesn't have a nickname... Hmmm) ____ to see Legally Blonde: The Musical! It was amazing! We got fabulous seats for only $30 and the cast and show were amazing! Afterwards, I caught the train home with Phantomess and Miss Invisible. It reminded me, again, of how I am really quite different to my friends. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I mean, since school we've all changed quite a bit in different ways. We've all met different people and gone different ways and have changed. And that's OK. Sometime it can be hard to deal with, but you have to learn that it's OK. And I have learnt that, though sometimes I forget. It's just that sometimes it can feel that everyone else has changed in similar ways and I haven't. Or everyone else has changed and grown up quicker and I'm doing everything slower. Now, I have to keep reminding myself that it isn't a bad thing, but it is hard to think about, of course. I guess it's hard when you're used to a small, tight group at a small school who all kinda have similar lives and spend sooo much time together and suddenly you're all spread out in different places with different people doing different things and only getting together when it fits everyone's schedules. But it's OK. I have a hard time not comparing myself to other people (in pretty much every aspect of my life), but I'm working on it, and that's what is important.
Anyway, I was EXHAUSTED that night when I got home at 11:45pm, but I had to get up around 5:30am the next day (Good Friday) and leave the house by around 7:15ish to drive up Easterfest- a Christian music festival held every year over the Easter long weekend. We dropped my brother off as he was volunteering and then went off to a church service because, well, it was Good Friday. The service was mediocre and made me kinda miss my own church and their more modern music and more interesting, theatrical presentations, but whatever. We went to Maccas and I had the worst ice coffee ever and then we went back to the festival in time to see Relient K (my favourite band in the world) get interviewed. The interview was good and got me very excited for the rest of that day. We had lunch and I went to line up for the Relient K signing. You could only go to specific signings, such as this one, if you had paid about $40 extra for a Premium Upgrade to your ticket. I had used money from my last birthday to buy my ticket, including a Premium Upgrade specifically to go to this signing. I stood in line for about an hour playing solitaire on my phone. Some guys in line had a guitar and played a few Relient K songs, and most of the line sang along, so that was fun. Finally, I was there and got to meet two members of the band (lead singer and lead guitarist) and they signed the first CD I ever owned of theirs. It was amazing. I swear, after that I was on Cloud 9 and I honestly had not felt so happy in a long time. When I'd feel down anytime over the weekend, I'd think of Friday and I'd feel better. I know it's a little cheesy, but I just love this band and their music and the lyrics and I think their music definitely helped me in my Christian journey and it just made me so happy. Anyway, I then saw a friend (who also doesn't have a nickname.... Hmm...) and she took me to see Newworldson, a jazz/blues/funk/soul band who were FANTASTIC! The family and I then went back to the house of some family friends who we were staying with that weekend, dropped off our luggage and got changed into warmer clothes, before heading back for the main concert. We sat there in good seats, ate jacket potatoes and watched some really good performances before Relient K did their performance. Although only two of the members were there (they had three "ring-ins" playing guitar and drums), it was an amazing concert! I had made an internal list of 5 songs I really wanted to hear them play and they played 3, so I was pretty happy! I sang along pretty loudly to everything (except their new songs, which I loved already!) and was very happy. At the end, the lead singer sat down at the keyboard and said he was going to play a hymn in honour of what Easter is really about and it was truly beautiful. It was quiet and lovely and the whole audience was quiet and singing along.
After that we went home and I was truly the happiest I have been in soo very long. I'd say it was one of the best days of my life, actually.
Saturday was also a very gooood day. I didn't really do anything until 11am where I saw The Empty Chair Project, which is where this really great jazz band takes songs of singers at the festivals and "jazzes them up". For example, they will turn a rock or pop song into a swing number and the singer comes up and sings their song with the band. It was very good! I then so my friend and a friend of hers and we went into town (the festival had events going on in cafes and other places throughout the city too) and we went to a little art gallery and got shown around, which was cool. We then went and had lunch before heading back so my friend could go to a forum. I met up with my family and I honestly cannot remember what we did then... Hmm, well, eventually my dad and I went back to the house and got some warm clothes for everyone before heading back where I met up with another nicknameless friend (I might just call her X... really unimaginative but whatever) and the family we'd been staying with. We all sat in my main arena and watched the performances, which were really good. After one concert, X and I left to go have dinner, which was yummy and then sat in this nice tent listening to music and chatting, which was really nice. I don't get to catch up with her much, so it was really really nice. I then went to this thing called the Jazz Supper Club with my parents and family friend and went to watch jazz musicians perform, including James Morrison. The tent was packed and we ended up at the very back, sitting on the floor unable to see. The music was really good, but this event went from 9-11pm and we were all EXHAUSTED so, unfortunately we decided to leave before James Morrison came out. I was really upset at the time, but once we'd gotten back to the house I'd realised it was a very good decision, as I was ready to just pass out from tiredness.
Sunday was pretty laid-back as we were all tired and didn't have much at the festival we wanted to do. We dropped my brother off to volunteer and then went to our family friends' church for our Easter Sunday service, which was quite nice. We had lunch back at their place and mum dropped me, my other brother and the youngest son of this family off at the festival. We met up with my brother and left the two younger kids to go on rides etc. At this point it was lightly raining, by the way. My brother and I, as we had Premium Tickets, went to go to the Premium Only Evermore concert. When we were in line, it started raining heavier and it was quite miserable, but we went to the concert anyway. I'm glad we did, because it was GREAT! Really good. We then ran to find our parents and head home. We stopped off at Maccas for food and drinks, where my brothers and I walked around barefoot as our shoes were soaked. We then made the 1.5 hour journey home.
Overall- a fantastic weekend! It was entirely worth spending my money on and worth the exhaustion I am still feeling today (even though I slept from around 10pm-9:30am).
I now have a week off uni for Mid-Semester Break, and I feel good about that. I know I have work I should do. Assignments and study, but I also have no motivation. Seriously. I'm finding it really hard to muster up the energy and motivation to do any uni work this year. I'm just so tired all the time and it takes so much energy to go into uni and make it through the day. So, when I'm at home and don't have to be there, I have no motivation to do work. I have to keep reminding myself that at the end of next year I want to get into Honours and quite possibly post-grad study after that, but I just can't be motivated. It's pretty frustrating. Frankly, I'm not enjoying uni that much yet this year and it's worrying me, cause I'm getting a lot of the feelings I got back in Year 12 and I really don't want that. Year 12 was pretty much the start of all my issues and I don't want to go back to that. I've been getting better. The end of last year especially showed me just getting better. Now I get worried that I'm slowly slipping back to that place.
But, I do think of a few things I'm better at and it's reassuring. I have made progress. I need to stop comparing my progress to others. I need to stop focusing on the things that are still hard, stressful, anxiety-inducing and depressing. I need to think of the things that are easier; the things that used to be hard, stressful, anxiety-inducing and depressing, but are now less so. That's what's important.
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