Boys Will Not Chew Gum In Class

So, 2011 is coming to an end very quickly and as I look back upon this year, there is a lot to reflect upon. Overall, this year wasn't that great for me and I am pretty glad it's over. It's strange how one year can be so different for different people. Some people had a wonderful year while others had the worst year of their life. It's weird. My year wasn't great. It was the most challenging year of my short life.

I mean, I started and finished my last year of high school. Ever. A lot of stuff goes along with that.

I learnt a lot about myself and the people around me this year. I dealt with more stress than I ever have in my entire life and learnt that I don't deal well with it. I realised that I can become clingy. I learnt that I expect too much from myself and the people around me and that all my expectations are unrealistic and will only lead to disappointment.

I have definitely learnt a lot of things I don't like about myself and would like to change. These things will take awhile. I mean, after spending years and years worrying about pretty much everything, it will take a lot of time and work to, you know, stop worrying about everything.

Anyway, I have stopped dwelling too much on the past year and am trying to take things from it, instead of regret things. I am both dreading and looking forward to this New Year's, because 2012 is going to be even bigger and tougher than 2011. The school chapter of my life is done and so far, it's the only real chapter I've known, seeing as though I don't remember anything about my life before kindergarten... Starting university, hopefully getting a job, meeting new people is going to be a crazy and very challenging thing for me, but I've gotten it into my head that there's no point in worrying about it all.

So, I've decided that I'm just going to let things happen. Not in a sit-around-and-do-nothing-while-waiting-for-whatever's-supposed-to-happen-to-happen kind of way. Just in a not-worrying-see-where-things-go-and-see-where-I-end-up kind of way. I think things happen for a reason and I should just go with whatever does happen. If I've chosen the wrong course for next year, I'll figure that out and change. If I found out that university isn't for me, I'll change things. I've just got to calm down and not worry and just see what happens. That's my plan for 2012, I guess.

Well, I guess I'll have more deep thoughts like these on New Year's Eve while in the bedroom of a family friend kind of friend of mine as we sit there awkwardly after spending three hours wondering what to do. I'm not even exaggerating.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

So, it's Christmas Eve Eve here in The Land Down Under and I am, yet again, in the Christmas spirit. I was wrapping presents and now have my favourite Christmas album on while posting this.

So, my family has our own kind of Christmas traditions and I am kinda the one that makes sure these happen every year. Because this is my favourite time of the year, I put a lot of pressure on the day and the season leading up to it to be perfect...

Anyway, here are some of my favourite things about Christmas


- We have Christmas sacks instead of stockings. My brothers and I hang them on our doorknobs and on Christmas morning we wake up, sit together in someone's room and tip them out, finding heaps of lollies and chocolates and chips and, basically, unhealthy junk food. We also always got these packs of little cereal boxes but this year we won't have them (I went shopping with my mum today to buy the lollies... It won't be a surprise for me, but who cares... I know we're getting good stuff) because we realised that the three of us eat the most sugary cereals really quickly and then we are left with boxes of things like Corn Flakes sitting on the bench for months...

- Every single year we go for at least one drive around the suburbs looking at Christmas lights. We put on a Christmas CD and just drive, sometimes stopping off at McDonald's for an ice cream. This year, we took 3 separate drives to go everywhere we wanted to.

- If you know me at all, or have read anything else I've written, you'd know I love the city. Especially at night. I love going to the city and walking through the mall at Christmas time. It's nighttime but it's so bright because of all the lights. It's busy and so pretty. Hopefully we'll be going tonight.

- Usually on the first weekend of December (because it's when my parents are usually off work), we get out all the many Christmas decoration boxes, put on a few Christmas CDs and put up and decorate the tree before decorating the rest of the house.

- Eating chocolate covered sultanas. For some reason, you can only really get them at Christmas time which kinda sucks, because I adore them... On the other hand, it's probably a good thing you can't get them all year, because I'd never stop eating them and I'd be a blimp... Anyway, I'm eating some right now. Mmm...

- Christmas music. I love it. It makes me happy.

- Present shopping in big, busy shopping centres.

- Wrapping presents.

- Giving presents to people.

- The cheap junk, paper crowns and terrible jokes you get inside the cracker things at the table...

- The food. All the wonderful food.

And one other thing I love about Christmas. I love how different Christmas is here in Australia compared to America or Europe. I mean, I see American Christmases all over TV and the contrast is great. I mean, in most of America, it's cold as and a lot of the time, it's snowing. Here, it's hot as and you wear shorts and t-shirts and have the fans and/or air-con on all day.

Now, I can't speak for everyone else but this is how my family's Christmas Day usually goes down.

My brothers and I wake up early and open our aforementioned sacks of lollies. We wake up the parentals and have some kind of unhealthy, quick breakfast. Now, it depends on where we are going for Christmas but we usually get the food ready for wherever we are going, get dressed and then open our presents from each other. We pack everything up and go off to whoever's house we're going to. Once we're there, the women usually go help out the host in making lunch. Whoever's not helping just chats and catches up with the family. Then, eventually, after a lot of cooking, it's lunch time. We have a big lunch with meat and a lot of salads and bread etc. The women often clean up, the kitchen is crowded and the kids gather around the tree bugging the parents by saying, every like, 5 minutes, "Can we open the presents now?" Eventually, the parents come to the tree and a couple of the kids are assigned the job of handing out the presents. The presents are opened and everyone hugs and thanks each other. Dessert probably comes after the presents. It's less formal and everyone just gets some sweet stuff if they want. The adults have coffee and chat and the kids play with their new stuff. Then, nothing much happens. Sometimes people go the park and play soccer or cricket, sometimes the... older... family members have a sleep... Basically, the adults are often tired and the kids just play with their new stuff. Then, eventually, everyone leaves and we drive home and eat leftovers for dinner, if anyone has the room for anything else... That is basically my usual Christmas Day and dang it... I just got myself more excited for Sunday... 2 days, guys!

Anyway, I'm off to watch one of the most depressing How I Met Your Mother episodes ever just because it's the only Christmas episode I haven't seen like, 5 times..

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas...

OK, so, I love Christmas. I just love it.

As the song says, "It's the most wonderful time of the year." Honestly, it is my favourite time of the entire year.

I love the way that school ends just before December and everyone gives out cards with candy canes. I love leaving the Christmas CDs in the CD player. I love putting up the tree and decorating the house while listening to the music. I love hearing Christmas music on the radio. I love my family's annual drive around at night, listening to Christmas music, while looking at all the lights. I love the displays at Myer, especially in the city. I love the big tree in the city and how pretty it looks at night with everything lit up. I love shopping for presents for everyone. I love wrapping the presents. I love doing Christmas cooking.

Yes, that all pertains to the Christmas Season, as opposed to Christmas Day itself, but I've realised I prefer the season to the actual day. The day's good, of course, but it only lasts for... a day... The season lasts for like, 25 days give or take.

All of it just makes me so happy. I don't know what it actually is, but just seeing Christmas decorations and hearing a Christmas carol just puts me in a good mood. It's really great. I just... love it all.

I've also realised that I actually love giving presents as much, if not more, than getting them. I mean, going to the shops and thinking about people who you, at least generally, care about and thinking about what they would genuinely like is good fun. Watching people open the presents that you actually thought about and seeing them genuinely like it is also very cool. This is mainly for people like my parents, brothers (strangely) and other close family members...

I am just suddenly, after watching the Phineas & Ferb Christmas episode, overflowing with Christmas spirit and I'm really happy. Strange...

YAY CHRISTMAS.

Sorry, guys...

Anyway, it's all exciting. Yay. YAYBEANS.

So, like, I've been trying to watch Christmas specials of some of my favourite shows, especially How I Met Your Mother, but it turns out the show doesn't actually have that many Christmas specials (I think there are more Thanksgiving episodes... I'm Australian! I don't celebrate Thanksgiving! ) and I've already watched them. I do love How Lily Stole Christmas and False Positive, though, but I've watched them so much... Maybe I should wait till a couple of days before Christmas and watch them again. I just realised there is one I haven't seen in awhile, Little Minnesota and I might just watch that now and then watch them in a marathon on Christmas Eve or the day before or something. I looked up Friends Christmas episodes, but I realised I've seen them all too... Oh well. 

Are You Sure You're Not Just Getting Fat?

So, I'm going to try and not rant about this, but the recent episode of How I Met Your Mother has really stuck with me and I think it always will. The basic premise was the fact that Robin thought she was pregnant with Barney's child and she was narrating, in the same way Ted always does, to her children in the future. She then finds out she is not pregnant and is very excited as Robin has never wanted kids. She then finds out that she is actually unable to ever have kids and this basically breaks her. She is extremely upset because, despite the fact that she never wanted children, she always had that option, in case she ever changed her mind, and now it is gone. She then says to her "future children", "The truth is, I'm glad you guys aren't real," and they fade away. This is the moment that every fan's heart broke. She refuses to tell any of her friends what is going on. In the end, despite not knowing what is wrong with her, Ted creates an amazing Christmas display in their apartment and just hugs her as she cries. It brought tears to my eyes.

Anyway, this got me thinking about what I want in my life. Ever since I've started watching this show, I've kinda looked up to the character of Robin as inspiration. Independent, career-driven woman who wants to travel. Now, I am not overly career-driven yet as firstly, I have no job and, secondly, I have no clue what I want my job to be in the future, but I do want to be a traveling independent woman someday, like her.

I don't know about children. There is something I see in mothers lately that makes me just never want to be one. I don't know why. I feel like it just... slows you down or something. You can't be an independent, career-driven, traveling woman once you have kids... Sure, that's great for many women. A family is what  they want, but I am conflicted now. I have never, before this year, considered not having kids in my lifetime and I still think that, one day, I will be married with children. I just think it'll be later than I ever thought when I was younger.

I want to get out and be young and travel and get a good career before all that. My mum told me recently that I should have kids young because then I'd have the energy to look after them and stuff like that. But... my mum got married at 22 or 23 and had me at 25. That was pretty normal then but it seems so young to me now. If I did as my mum did, I honestly don't have very long before I should be getting married... Of course, my parents were friends in Year 12 and they got together on their Schoolies week. I sure didn't follow in their footsteps there...

I was talking to my mum the other day about the Bucket List I'm writing (it's a draft post, I'm not finished yet). I told about my dream to one day live in New York. You see, I want to visit Japan, Canada and Spain, but I want to live in New York City one day. The thought of it excites me. I don't know for how long. Even if only for a year before coming back here, I don't care. I don't just want to visit there, because that wouldn't allow me to soak up all of the culture. It's the culture of actually living there and being a New Yorker that grabs me. I don't want to pass through and go to all the big tourist destinations, I want to see all the little things that are an everyday for New Yorkers. I want to hail taxis in the street, I want to go to some little cafes or bars and live in an apartment and so much more. My biggest dream though would be that I have to spend at least one Christmas living in New York. I want to have Christmas there. My parents said that, if I'm living in NYC for Christmas, they're coming to visit me. It would be amazing.

These are the kinds of things I want to do before I "settle down" and have kids. I don't know why I'm thinking about it and worrying now, though. I have years to figure all of this out. I've just got to chill out and see what I want as I go along.

Anyway, I'm getting my hair dyed red this afternoon and I had a bad dream where it didn't turn out how I wanted last night... I woke up freaked out. I'm sure it'll be fine... I hope *fingers crossed*.

Well, I'm hungry, so bye!

My Bucket List

As it often does, Tumblr has inspired me with an idea. I shall here write my bucket list. A list of things that I, at this point in my life, wish to die before I die or "kick the bucket" as they say. Also, this is in no particular order, guys.

1. Dye my hair red.

2. Go to Japan.

3. Live in New York.

4. See one of my favourite musicals on Broadway (Cats, Wicked, The Phantom of the Opera preferably).

5. See Relient K live.

6. Meet Matt Thiessen.

7. Die my hair some other crazy colour like blue or green or, more likely, that cool white/blonde colour.

8. Get married.

9. Go to Europe.

10. Visit Spain.

11. Finish watching InuYasha (I will finish it. Someday).

12. Take archery classes.

13. Learn Japanese.

14. Learn Spanish (at least some...).

15. Live by myself.

16. Own my own pet. Maybe a cat. Or lots of fish.

17. Cut my hair real short.

18. Learn to play the trumpet (if only quite basically).

19.  Teach myself to play all of Poulenc's flute sonata.

20. Visit Canada.

21. Spend Christmas and New Year's in New York.