"Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love 'em." - Dwight Schrute (The Office) on bloggers. I thought that was an apt way to begin this post. Bloggers be crazy.
Greetings! I am currently sitting my my clean room, listening to music through the laptop speakers, dressed in my Around-The-House clothes on a lovely, cold Friday. This semester I managed to get Fridays off again and I am quite overjoyed. Although, I worry that I will never be able to get Fridays off again and forever be disappointed by my future timetables, but we'll cross those bridges when we get to them.
So, last Monday I started Semester 2 of university. So far, it has been going pretty well. My timetable is alright, I only have one early morning and only one late night (unfortunately on the same day but whatever) and I'm only doing 3 courses so it's slightly more relaxing.
So, as of earlier this year, (around the beginning of university) I realised I had quite let myself go in Year 12 and the following holidays. I mean, come on, a year of stress and emotional instability (triggers for comfort food, much?) and then three months of sitting at home with very little to do... That was bound to lead to a little extra chub, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I started on my journey to move more and eat better. It was quite slow, as my motivation and seriousness was quite lacking at first. As they increased, so did my effort and my body weight did decrease a small amount, which was extremely encouraging. I then plateaued. Being the way I am, this made me distressed but, yesterday (or Wednesday, I dunno), I made a decision.
I am no longer going to stress about being thin or losing weight or having a flat stomach or anything. I am going to be healthy. I think this will be better for me. It's not actually going to change my new eating/exercise habits; it will just change how I think about it all, which is probably more important for me.
I will walk and jog and do weights to make myself feel good on the inside and, as a result, on the outside. I will eat well to make my body feel good. I will not do these things to stress out about a number on a scale, because I've found that to be unhealthy.
I've quite enjoyed eating healthier recently, actually. I genuinely feel better about myself when I eat a good, filling, healthy breakfast and a good lunch, small & healthy snacks and a good healthy dinner. This along with drinking lots of water and regularly doing some sort of exercise has been good.
I have also inspired my family, somewhat. Well, my parents more so. My mother has gotten on board more and I've seen my dad make some small changes. My brothers, on the other hand, not so much. Well, in the next year or so, the oldest of my brothers' growth spurt period will end and he will reap the full results of not being nice to his body. Well, hopefully, or else I will get annoyed. I mean, I got my "growth spurt" around his age. I got a lot hungrier and did grow a bit. But, I got the height genes from my mum. My mum is of average height, her sister is short, their mother is average height and their father is very short. My dad is tall, as is his father, as were his grandfathers. Both of my little brothers got that tall gene and I got the short-average height gene. That's fine with me, but it means that, as my brothers eat unhealthily, they grow taller and not any wider. I never had that luck. Eating bad food quickly caught up to me and I began to grow out instead of up. Anyway...
Last semester I drew up a timetable to see if it would help get me up and exercising at a regular time everyday. It didn't work. I have tried again this semester and, so far, it is working. I think I have more motivation. Here is my exercise routine for the week:
Sunday: 7am: strength exercises, often includes an afternoon walk with the family
Monday: 7-8-ish, 30 minutes walk/jog
Tuesday: "Active rest" (basically, I don't do deliberate exercise but I don't sit on my bum all day. Basically, I have a long day of uni from 10am-6pm, not including transport, I have no time to exercise)
Wednesday: 7am: 20-30 minute walk/jog, strength exercises
Thursday: 7am: 30 minute walk/jog
Friday: 7am: 30 minute walk/jog
Saturday: 7am: 30 minute walk/jog.
I think this week may have been the first week I have stuck to this, so let's see how it goes...
Food wise- I've learnt a lot about what is filling, low or high in calories and what is easy to pack for uni. Paying attention to what fills me up and what doesn't has definitely helped...
Also, exercise is supposed to reduce both stress and anxiety while giving more energy. For a very anxious, stressed and almost constantly tired girl, I cannot argue with that.
I have figured- if I feel good on the inside, I will feel better about my outside appearance too.
"Speaking of pimples- let's release the bloggers!"
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
Rollin' In The Deep
So, in grade 9 of high school, Phantomess and I were in... some class and we were doing some activity to do with war (don't judge me, my memory isn't great). We had to come up with a word for every letter of the alphabet that was related to war. Now, for 'N', we put nostalgia. When we read this to the teacher, she was kinda weirded out and asked us if we actually knew what nostalgia meant and proceeded to tell us that it basically means "looking back with fond memories". Despite the fact that we were basically the School Nerds, we thought it had something to do with being sick or nauseous because it sounded like 'lethargic'.
Today I was at a theme park with my family (and my littlest brother's friend) and I spent a very random 2 minutes in deep thought about nostalgia. You see, I'm a very nostalgic and sentimental person, especially in the past year or so, upon finishing school. But I realised I am good at looking back on all my memories, but not so good at the "fond" part. My memories make me all too sad too easily and this is not good.
I mean, these good, fun, memorable times happened and I should be happy about that because- well, they happened! Why be sad about it? Yes, I am not in school anymore with my same group of friends and teachers and other classmates and everything is less predictable, but that doesn't mean I won't make more good memories out of that context.
So, I'll never be in my instrumental room with Phantomess mucking around and doing absolutely nothing instead of being in PE when our teacher and principal (and some other guests) turn up and we have to pretend like we are doing something worthwhile and not skipping a class. But I have already made some good memories at uni, with some new friends. Such as kinda stalking this guy most days and having him see us watching him several times so that he is most probably very skeptical of us. Whoops.
In the words of Zoey (and later Ted) from How I Met Your Mother, "sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things." I'm not saying that school "fell apart" because it didn't- it just ended, but it ended to make way for better things. I admit, better things have not come. Definitely not. But hey, they will. I'm trying to be hopeful. I'm also trying to look back on my odd memories and be happy about the fact that they happened and have contributed to my life, as opposed to getting upset.
Everytime I watch Masterchef I get the unbelievable urge to cook. I mean, I get that urge a lot lately. It's really my only hobby. When people would ask what my hobbies were I'd always be like, "I dunno.... TV?" But now I have a hobby in cooking. I like to cook sweet and savoury things, breakfasts and dinners, healthy and unhealthy, but I do usually feel the urge to cook something decadent and awfully unhealthy, like cheesecake. This is bad for a girl trying to get fit, healthy and lose that Cheesecake Weight. Oh man, cheesecake....
I really want to try cooking Japanese cuisine. I borrowed a Japanese cookbook from the library and some of the stuff sounds really yummy and is very healthy and doesn't look too difficult to make, but basically everything includes some ingredient I've barely heard of that could only be bought at a good Asian Supermarket... Well, I think tomorrow I will take my library cookbooks to the printer and photocopy all the best recipes and file them away.
Mmmmmmmm foooooood.
I love how I went from deep thoughts about life and the past and moving forward to ogling (that's a word I've never actually used before) about food.
Today I was at a theme park with my family (and my littlest brother's friend) and I spent a very random 2 minutes in deep thought about nostalgia. You see, I'm a very nostalgic and sentimental person, especially in the past year or so, upon finishing school. But I realised I am good at looking back on all my memories, but not so good at the "fond" part. My memories make me all too sad too easily and this is not good.
I mean, these good, fun, memorable times happened and I should be happy about that because- well, they happened! Why be sad about it? Yes, I am not in school anymore with my same group of friends and teachers and other classmates and everything is less predictable, but that doesn't mean I won't make more good memories out of that context.
So, I'll never be in my instrumental room with Phantomess mucking around and doing absolutely nothing instead of being in PE when our teacher and principal (and some other guests) turn up and we have to pretend like we are doing something worthwhile and not skipping a class. But I have already made some good memories at uni, with some new friends. Such as kinda stalking this guy most days and having him see us watching him several times so that he is most probably very skeptical of us. Whoops.
In the words of Zoey (and later Ted) from How I Met Your Mother, "sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things." I'm not saying that school "fell apart" because it didn't- it just ended, but it ended to make way for better things. I admit, better things have not come. Definitely not. But hey, they will. I'm trying to be hopeful. I'm also trying to look back on my odd memories and be happy about the fact that they happened and have contributed to my life, as opposed to getting upset.
Everytime I watch Masterchef I get the unbelievable urge to cook. I mean, I get that urge a lot lately. It's really my only hobby. When people would ask what my hobbies were I'd always be like, "I dunno.... TV?" But now I have a hobby in cooking. I like to cook sweet and savoury things, breakfasts and dinners, healthy and unhealthy, but I do usually feel the urge to cook something decadent and awfully unhealthy, like cheesecake. This is bad for a girl trying to get fit, healthy and lose that Cheesecake Weight. Oh man, cheesecake....
I really want to try cooking Japanese cuisine. I borrowed a Japanese cookbook from the library and some of the stuff sounds really yummy and is very healthy and doesn't look too difficult to make, but basically everything includes some ingredient I've barely heard of that could only be bought at a good Asian Supermarket... Well, I think tomorrow I will take my library cookbooks to the printer and photocopy all the best recipes and file them away.
Mmmmmmmm foooooood.
I love how I went from deep thoughts about life and the past and moving forward to ogling (that's a word I've never actually used before) about food.
Thursday, 21 June 2012
You Wouldn't Download A Butt
So, on Monday I had my first and second university exams. I woke up at 7am, went for a good walk, came home and had breakfast and a shower. I was home alone by this point. I got dressed, made lunch, studied a tiny bit and sat around watching random episodes of How I Met Your Mother before going to catch my bus, subsequent train and subsequent bus to uni. Once there, I had lunch and went to the library to do some last minute study. I couldn't really stay focused and just sat on this comfy couch watching people around me and left early. You see, I overestimate time a lot. I'll be all, "Yeah, it'll take me 10 minutes to walk there, 10 minutes to pick that thing up, 10 minutes to go to the bathroom and like, 5 minutes to get to the other place, so I should leave like, 40-ish minutes early to be safe." And, in reality, all of those activities seem to take less than 2 minutes and I'm left at the end with nothing to do. I did this with my exam. I left quite early to go to the bathroom and buy/eat a snack from the lolly shop and ended up sitting around like a loner doing nothing for awhile.
Anyway, at 2:30 I had my first exam, for Intro to Psych: Clinical, Developmental & Social. I was nervous, but only because it was my first university exam and I had no idea what to expect. Once it had started, however, it was fine and relatively easy. Yes, I made educated guesses for a few questions, but I generally knew what it was on about. I left after an hour (all my exams were 2 hours btw) and therefore, had like, 2 hours to wait before my next exam, instead of the hour I had been expecting. I tried to study and failed again, texting Phantomess to see if she was there early. We hung out and didn't study, before meeting up with the rest of The Japanese Gang freaking out before our exam. That was also, quite easy. Yes, there are questions I am almost certain I got wrong, but I was pretty confident with most of it. I left that after an hour. I then went out to a very nice and fancy Sri Lankan restaurant with my mum and uncle and had some really nice food before going home.
I spent Tuesday doing a little study and mainly watching various TV shows... Wednesday was pretty similar to Monday. I had a very socially awkward/socially unpleasant public transport journey before getting to uni and continuing to be socially awkward. I then had my Research Methods & Statistics 1 exam. It was harder than the others and I made more guesses than the other exams Some of those guesses weren't so 'educated' either. But I left after an hour and a half and actually nearly cried with joy that I am finally on holidays.
So, here, I am going to make a list of the fun, not-stressful things I have been putting off doing (due to their ability to wildly distract me from uni) that I will be doing these holidays:
- Finishing my re-watch of The Office (I am nearly done, but I stopped before an episode that was way too emotional to watch when I should have been studying)
- Finally finish reading Mockingjay (I had to put it away so I could try and focus on uni)
- Catch up on some anime I haven't finished
- Start some anime I've been wanting to watch for ages
- Finally read Volume 1 of Ouran High School Host Club that I bought like, 2 months ago or something
- Cook lots
- Make ice cream from scratch
- Get a haircut
- See mah peeps
- Properly plan my birthday par-tay
- Drive more
- Try and find another job
- Play lots of The Sims 3
- Finally watch the Audrey Hepburn movies my parents gave me as my graduation present
- Play my instruments
I think that's about it... Seems like a lot, but I can almost guarantee you that I won't do most of it... I'll probably just sit on Tumblr... As usual...
Well, even though I'm tired as, I feel the need to fit another Friends episodes (one of my favourites) in before going to bed, even though I have to get up early for an 8:45am doctor's appointment tomorrow... Farewell!
Anyway, at 2:30 I had my first exam, for Intro to Psych: Clinical, Developmental & Social. I was nervous, but only because it was my first university exam and I had no idea what to expect. Once it had started, however, it was fine and relatively easy. Yes, I made educated guesses for a few questions, but I generally knew what it was on about. I left after an hour (all my exams were 2 hours btw) and therefore, had like, 2 hours to wait before my next exam, instead of the hour I had been expecting. I tried to study and failed again, texting Phantomess to see if she was there early. We hung out and didn't study, before meeting up with the rest of The Japanese Gang freaking out before our exam. That was also, quite easy. Yes, there are questions I am almost certain I got wrong, but I was pretty confident with most of it. I left that after an hour. I then went out to a very nice and fancy Sri Lankan restaurant with my mum and uncle and had some really nice food before going home.
I spent Tuesday doing a little study and mainly watching various TV shows... Wednesday was pretty similar to Monday. I had a very socially awkward/socially unpleasant public transport journey before getting to uni and continuing to be socially awkward. I then had my Research Methods & Statistics 1 exam. It was harder than the others and I made more guesses than the other exams Some of those guesses weren't so 'educated' either. But I left after an hour and a half and actually nearly cried with joy that I am finally on holidays.
So, here, I am going to make a list of the fun, not-stressful things I have been putting off doing (due to their ability to wildly distract me from uni) that I will be doing these holidays:
- Finishing my re-watch of The Office (I am nearly done, but I stopped before an episode that was way too emotional to watch when I should have been studying)
- Finally finish reading Mockingjay (I had to put it away so I could try and focus on uni)
- Catch up on some anime I haven't finished
- Start some anime I've been wanting to watch for ages
- Finally read Volume 1 of Ouran High School Host Club that I bought like, 2 months ago or something
- Cook lots
- Make ice cream from scratch
- Get a haircut
- See mah peeps
- Properly plan my birthday par-tay
- Drive more
- Try and find another job
- Play lots of The Sims 3
- Finally watch the Audrey Hepburn movies my parents gave me as my graduation present
- Play my instruments
I think that's about it... Seems like a lot, but I can almost guarantee you that I won't do most of it... I'll probably just sit on Tumblr... As usual...
Well, even though I'm tired as, I feel the need to fit another Friends episodes (one of my favourites) in before going to bed, even though I have to get up early for an 8:45am doctor's appointment tomorrow... Farewell!
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Think About Your Commission Cap As A Naked Old Man In A Gym Locker
Today I shall be using this here blog to document my random thoughts and adventures through another fun day of study.
First up- PSYC1040 (Psychological Rsearch Methods &Statistics 1)... I seem to understand nearly everything. There are like, 2 concepts I cannot seem to get my head around and it's driving me crazy.
So, it turns out I can do pages of practice calculation questions apart from one certain area. It's totally fine. Then, I go do a past exam and I can do every question, apart from all the calculation ones. They make absolutely no sense to me. This is stressing me out. I think I'm going to wait till my dad gets home. Whenever I don't understand mathematical things, I ask him, but this is different. I don't know if he has a good grasp of statistics. I am going to die in this exam. So much. I mean, at least it is multiple choice, so when I have absolutely no idea in all heck, I can choose something...
I think I'm going to change subjects now.
Now- PSYC1030 (Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social & Clinical)...
So, I think I am actually totally dying here. My body is like, failing me. For the past few days, for no apparent reason, my feet and back of my knee joints have been in serious pain, I've had random, unusual, hard-to-describe stomach pains and this morning, after trying to find some good winter clothes to wear, I became extremely hot and am now sitting in my room in shorts, a t-shirt, a jumper with the sleeves rolled up, a glass of cold water and my fan on. In Winter. What.
In my notes for "Prejudice & Stereotyping" under the title of "Racism" I actually have written this:
" " sexism
-> whining
... What was that supposed to say? I'm guessing I didn't get the time to write whatever it was... I hope it wasn't important...
I am seriously sick of this American Spellcheck. Seriously. When I write 'ise' at the end of a word, I do not mean 'ize'. And telling me my 'u's in words such as 'neighbour' and 'behaviour' are wrong. No. You are wrong, Spellcheck.
... I'm not entirely sick of Spellcheck because it turns out I cannot seem to spell anything right today...
11 pages later and Social Psychology is done. Now- for Clinical.
Ugh.
When I type, my left thumb sticks up in the air really weirdly and therefore, after typing for quite awhile, it hurts.
I think I need a short Tumblr break :)
... I think I just discovered that a girl I've followed on Tumblr for ages goes to the same university as me. Mine=blown.
I went out to the rest of the house to ask my mother what we'd have for lunch. She wasn't there. I cam back to my room, at some lollies and Tumblr'd. Seems like a good alternative for lunch...
BACK TO STUDY!
In my notes I wrote "less severy". Severy.
Clinical Psychology DONE. AND, it was finished very close to the end of my CD, so yay.
So, after a lunch and TV break, I am returned, energised for more study... Sigh. Maybe not so energised, but whatever.
Wow. Just typed out my Organisational Psychology notes in about 1 minute. I don't even know what I typed. Hope there's not too much Org Psych on the exam...
I am finished! I now have Fact Sheets for every discipline of Psychology covered in this course. YAY.
So, I had a weird dream last night/this morning (I slept in, so it may have been a morning dream...). I don't remember much. I was with my friends and I specifically remember Phantomess and Gojo. At one point I was with my family and family friends... Something about a train.. Anyway, with my friends I was at a Japanese shop that turned out to be kinda African and I stood behind the counter waiting to buy something for AGES and no one came and served my and eventually I left and walked somewhere by myself and then a dog attacked me and then I just started running. I ran away from the dog, even though it left pretty quickly. I left my friends wherever they were and I vaguely remember Phantomess trying to find me or something but I kept running. It's totally a metaphor or something...
So... I walked up to the shops with my brothers to hand some stuff into the Pathology people to be analysed and whatnot and ended up having to get a bloodtest. Lovely. Now, my feet, legs and right arm all hurt.
I really need to study Japanese, but I find it hard to study without speaking... And speaking isn't going to help me in a written exam... At all... I need to practice reading and writing but I just find it so hard to study. I love to walk around and just speak Japanese... Sigh.
I was using Google Translate to help with some Jap study and apparently, one question means, "What do you sleep when the end mud." I can't even guess what that's supposed to mean.
ブラウンさんは、週に一回アルバイトをします。Ms Brown goes to her part-time job once a week.
First up- PSYC1040 (Psychological Rsearch Methods &Statistics 1)... I seem to understand nearly everything. There are like, 2 concepts I cannot seem to get my head around and it's driving me crazy.
So, it turns out I can do pages of practice calculation questions apart from one certain area. It's totally fine. Then, I go do a past exam and I can do every question, apart from all the calculation ones. They make absolutely no sense to me. This is stressing me out. I think I'm going to wait till my dad gets home. Whenever I don't understand mathematical things, I ask him, but this is different. I don't know if he has a good grasp of statistics. I am going to die in this exam. So much. I mean, at least it is multiple choice, so when I have absolutely no idea in all heck, I can choose something...
I think I'm going to change subjects now.
Now- PSYC1030 (Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social & Clinical)...
So, I think I am actually totally dying here. My body is like, failing me. For the past few days, for no apparent reason, my feet and back of my knee joints have been in serious pain, I've had random, unusual, hard-to-describe stomach pains and this morning, after trying to find some good winter clothes to wear, I became extremely hot and am now sitting in my room in shorts, a t-shirt, a jumper with the sleeves rolled up, a glass of cold water and my fan on. In Winter. What.
In my notes for "Prejudice & Stereotyping" under the title of "Racism" I actually have written this:
" " sexism
-> whining
... What was that supposed to say? I'm guessing I didn't get the time to write whatever it was... I hope it wasn't important...
I am seriously sick of this American Spellcheck. Seriously. When I write 'ise' at the end of a word, I do not mean 'ize'. And telling me my 'u's in words such as 'neighbour' and 'behaviour' are wrong. No. You are wrong, Spellcheck.
... I'm not entirely sick of Spellcheck because it turns out I cannot seem to spell anything right today...
11 pages later and Social Psychology is done. Now- for Clinical.
Ugh.
When I type, my left thumb sticks up in the air really weirdly and therefore, after typing for quite awhile, it hurts.
I think I need a short Tumblr break :)
... I think I just discovered that a girl I've followed on Tumblr for ages goes to the same university as me. Mine=blown.
I went out to the rest of the house to ask my mother what we'd have for lunch. She wasn't there. I cam back to my room, at some lollies and Tumblr'd. Seems like a good alternative for lunch...
BACK TO STUDY!
In my notes I wrote "less severy". Severy.
Clinical Psychology DONE. AND, it was finished very close to the end of my CD, so yay.
So, after a lunch and TV break, I am returned, energised for more study... Sigh. Maybe not so energised, but whatever.
Wow. Just typed out my Organisational Psychology notes in about 1 minute. I don't even know what I typed. Hope there's not too much Org Psych on the exam...
I am finished! I now have Fact Sheets for every discipline of Psychology covered in this course. YAY.
So, I had a weird dream last night/this morning (I slept in, so it may have been a morning dream...). I don't remember much. I was with my friends and I specifically remember Phantomess and Gojo. At one point I was with my family and family friends... Something about a train.. Anyway, with my friends I was at a Japanese shop that turned out to be kinda African and I stood behind the counter waiting to buy something for AGES and no one came and served my and eventually I left and walked somewhere by myself and then a dog attacked me and then I just started running. I ran away from the dog, even though it left pretty quickly. I left my friends wherever they were and I vaguely remember Phantomess trying to find me or something but I kept running. It's totally a metaphor or something...
So... I walked up to the shops with my brothers to hand some stuff into the Pathology people to be analysed and whatnot and ended up having to get a bloodtest. Lovely. Now, my feet, legs and right arm all hurt.
I really need to study Japanese, but I find it hard to study without speaking... And speaking isn't going to help me in a written exam... At all... I need to practice reading and writing but I just find it so hard to study. I love to walk around and just speak Japanese... Sigh.
I was using Google Translate to help with some Jap study and apparently, one question means, "What do you sleep when the end mud." I can't even guess what that's supposed to mean.
ブラウンさんは、週に一回アルバイトをします。Ms Brown goes to her part-time job once a week.
Friday, 8 June 2012
Why Does Anyone Have To Be Naked?
Hello there! Come here often? ... I don't anymore but I saw my dear friends Miss Invisible and Tenuto Tuo post again and it inspired me somewhat, though I have no idea what to talk about...
Apparently I haven't posted here since the end of March. A lot has happened since then...
First and foremost, I have nearly officially finished my first semester of university. I finished classes last Thursday and have 3 exams in just over a week. Once those are finished, my semester is done. It is very exciting and I am so looking forward to the holidays where I will sleep as much as I want and catch up on anime and cook and see friends and well, not have to go to uni :P
Not that I hate university or anything, cause I do not. It took quite a bit of getting used to and I'm sure I'll still be getting used to everything next semester, but it's pretty good. I think making a couple of friends helped as well as just getting up each day and going and not worrying about what the day could bring, which is always tough for me.
I am quite enjoying learning that wonderful Japanese language. I was looking through my textbook today to study and looking through the first chapter or so made me really nostalgic and showed me just how far I've come. About 12-13 weeks ago, I was in my first Japanese lecture standing up with Phantomess saying "I am ____. Nice to meet you," in front of the whole class. That was all we could say.
Psychology is alright. The compulsory stats course has killed me and is my worst subject and I am almost certain I will fail or barely pass the exam.
Before really starting my course, I was pretty set on going into Clinical Psychology because I have a big, slightly weird, fascination with mental illness. Throughout my course, we were taught the basics of most of the areas of Psychology and, although the Clinical stuff still interests me quite a bit, I have found a new interest in Developmental Psychology. It is the study of Psychology throughout different life stages and I am completely fascinated by the infant & early childhood phases. I mean, the fact that there are these brand new lives that just... figure everything out and have all this ingrained reflexes and stuff that helps them learn about the world and life in general. I can't even get my head around it. I don't know, babies have just seriously blown my mind lately.
I'd really like to do something in Infant/Early Childhood (preferably infant) Developmental Psychology and possibly work in hospitals or something like that, in some kind of Clinical environment. I'm not sure. This is a new idea that's come over me the past few days/weeks or so and I have changed career ideas so many times, so who knows if it will stay...
But, because of stuff that has happened this year, it kind of makes sense that it's come to this. I don't know. It's hard to explain without going into the detail of what has happened this year but I'll try. I couldn't understand why this thing happened. I mean, I believe that things happen for a reason, especially the big things and I had been spending months trying to figure out what the reason behind this event could possibly have been. I knew God must have had some grand plan and some reason for that happening and now I feel like it has somewhat lead to this career idea. Well, I know it is linked and has lead to it and I've just been wondering today if this is a good career for me and even at least part of the reason that stuff happened. Maybe God wants me to do this... Maybe he doesn't, I could just be slightly deluded, but I had a dream last night about this event and that upset me this morning, and these ideas have cheered me up about it, so even if this isn't God's grand plan for my career and life, at least it cheered me up today.
So, I've been exercising and eating well lately and it's really good. The exercising is hard, motivation wise. My neighbourhood is so boring and there are so many freaking dogs and I'm not a big animal person and I'm really not a big dog person. Not only are there dogs around, but there are dogs who see you, bark like crazy, run around like crazy, jump, and generally look like they want to jump out over the fence, sprint towards you and rip your head off, all while setting off every other dog in the suburb. So, I base my walk/jog routes around avoiding the dogs, which gives me a very limited space to work with and walking/jogging the same route everyday is extremely monotonous and boring and makes it very hard to motivate oneself to get out of bed/get off Tumblr and go outside. If I do get outside, it's hard to motivate myself to stay out for a full 30 minutes, and I haven't been doing so the past 2 days or so. In fact, I haven't gone for a walk at all today. Oh well. I will tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm actually going to be sociable, which is cool and exciting. I'm going to a concert to see a friend from school perform in an ensemble I was in last year (and I might see my old flute ensemble play too) and then I am going to have lunch, go for a walk, maybe study and just chill by myself for a few hours before meeting up with friends for dinner in the city. Excited to get out of the house for sure.
I want to cook. I went to the library the other day, cause I felt like reading lots and ended up only getting one novel and four cookbooks including a Japanese cookbook, a healthy food one, a cheesecake one (just to cancel out the healthiness from the previous book) and a ice cream/sorbet/popsicle cookbook that looks absolutely amazing. Cannot wait to make ice cream. I am just waiting till after exams... I don't need more reasons to procrastinate...
I did study yesterday and today though. Played music, put the laptop off the desk and studied for a good hour or so straight. I find Japanese hard to study alone though. I didn't know where to start. I will hopefully get a group study session in with my Japanese buddies and I'll probably learn more from them haha.
Oh man, I am so not going to do well with these exams but I don't care. Well, sometimes I care. Right now, I don't. I just want them to be over. After my last exam, I am planning on going to the uni's lolly shop and buying some sort of treat to celebrate and then getting home and like, sleeping. Maybe crying. From happiness, that is.
Anyway, I caught up to date with The Office awhile ago and then, not long after, starting re-watching it again. Don't judge me. I actually watched an episode today that I'd somehow missed the first time, so that was cool. Anyway, off to watch an episode now.
Milo! I shall have some milo to satisfy my sweet tooth right now! Not that anyone cares but whatever.
Anyway, it was nice to do this again and I may do this more regularly again now. Farewell! じゃまた！
Apparently I haven't posted here since the end of March. A lot has happened since then...
First and foremost, I have nearly officially finished my first semester of university. I finished classes last Thursday and have 3 exams in just over a week. Once those are finished, my semester is done. It is very exciting and I am so looking forward to the holidays where I will sleep as much as I want and catch up on anime and cook and see friends and well, not have to go to uni :P
Not that I hate university or anything, cause I do not. It took quite a bit of getting used to and I'm sure I'll still be getting used to everything next semester, but it's pretty good. I think making a couple of friends helped as well as just getting up each day and going and not worrying about what the day could bring, which is always tough for me.
I am quite enjoying learning that wonderful Japanese language. I was looking through my textbook today to study and looking through the first chapter or so made me really nostalgic and showed me just how far I've come. About 12-13 weeks ago, I was in my first Japanese lecture standing up with Phantomess saying "I am ____. Nice to meet you," in front of the whole class. That was all we could say.
Psychology is alright. The compulsory stats course has killed me and is my worst subject and I am almost certain I will fail or barely pass the exam.
Before really starting my course, I was pretty set on going into Clinical Psychology because I have a big, slightly weird, fascination with mental illness. Throughout my course, we were taught the basics of most of the areas of Psychology and, although the Clinical stuff still interests me quite a bit, I have found a new interest in Developmental Psychology. It is the study of Psychology throughout different life stages and I am completely fascinated by the infant & early childhood phases. I mean, the fact that there are these brand new lives that just... figure everything out and have all this ingrained reflexes and stuff that helps them learn about the world and life in general. I can't even get my head around it. I don't know, babies have just seriously blown my mind lately.
I'd really like to do something in Infant/Early Childhood (preferably infant) Developmental Psychology and possibly work in hospitals or something like that, in some kind of Clinical environment. I'm not sure. This is a new idea that's come over me the past few days/weeks or so and I have changed career ideas so many times, so who knows if it will stay...
But, because of stuff that has happened this year, it kind of makes sense that it's come to this. I don't know. It's hard to explain without going into the detail of what has happened this year but I'll try. I couldn't understand why this thing happened. I mean, I believe that things happen for a reason, especially the big things and I had been spending months trying to figure out what the reason behind this event could possibly have been. I knew God must have had some grand plan and some reason for that happening and now I feel like it has somewhat lead to this career idea. Well, I know it is linked and has lead to it and I've just been wondering today if this is a good career for me and even at least part of the reason that stuff happened. Maybe God wants me to do this... Maybe he doesn't, I could just be slightly deluded, but I had a dream last night about this event and that upset me this morning, and these ideas have cheered me up about it, so even if this isn't God's grand plan for my career and life, at least it cheered me up today.
So, I've been exercising and eating well lately and it's really good. The exercising is hard, motivation wise. My neighbourhood is so boring and there are so many freaking dogs and I'm not a big animal person and I'm really not a big dog person. Not only are there dogs around, but there are dogs who see you, bark like crazy, run around like crazy, jump, and generally look like they want to jump out over the fence, sprint towards you and rip your head off, all while setting off every other dog in the suburb. So, I base my walk/jog routes around avoiding the dogs, which gives me a very limited space to work with and walking/jogging the same route everyday is extremely monotonous and boring and makes it very hard to motivate oneself to get out of bed/get off Tumblr and go outside. If I do get outside, it's hard to motivate myself to stay out for a full 30 minutes, and I haven't been doing so the past 2 days or so. In fact, I haven't gone for a walk at all today. Oh well. I will tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm actually going to be sociable, which is cool and exciting. I'm going to a concert to see a friend from school perform in an ensemble I was in last year (and I might see my old flute ensemble play too) and then I am going to have lunch, go for a walk, maybe study and just chill by myself for a few hours before meeting up with friends for dinner in the city. Excited to get out of the house for sure.
I want to cook. I went to the library the other day, cause I felt like reading lots and ended up only getting one novel and four cookbooks including a Japanese cookbook, a healthy food one, a cheesecake one (just to cancel out the healthiness from the previous book) and a ice cream/sorbet/popsicle cookbook that looks absolutely amazing. Cannot wait to make ice cream. I am just waiting till after exams... I don't need more reasons to procrastinate...
I did study yesterday and today though. Played music, put the laptop off the desk and studied for a good hour or so straight. I find Japanese hard to study alone though. I didn't know where to start. I will hopefully get a group study session in with my Japanese buddies and I'll probably learn more from them haha.
Oh man, I am so not going to do well with these exams but I don't care. Well, sometimes I care. Right now, I don't. I just want them to be over. After my last exam, I am planning on going to the uni's lolly shop and buying some sort of treat to celebrate and then getting home and like, sleeping. Maybe crying. From happiness, that is.
Anyway, I caught up to date with The Office awhile ago and then, not long after, starting re-watching it again. Don't judge me. I actually watched an episode today that I'd somehow missed the first time, so that was cool. Anyway, off to watch an episode now.
Milo! I shall have some milo to satisfy my sweet tooth right now! Not that anyone cares but whatever.
Anyway, it was nice to do this again and I may do this more regularly again now. Farewell! じゃまた！
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Deep Stuff, Yo
"If you close your eyes and listen close, you can hear the chapter close and it's all rebound it better clothes and you'll like the way this story goes."
Okey dokey, this blog is now taking on a different form. It shall hereby serve a purpose other than just being a place for me to write stupid, pointless rants.
It shall become a place of documentation. Documentation of my hopeful increased happiness.
These lyrics up the top are important to this. For months I thought they were relevant, but only the first part about the chapter closing. At the end of high school, it was like that. It felt like you could actually hear a book closing, defiantly saying that it was the end of that chapter. I have had many mixed feelings over whether I would/do like the "new story", but as I was thinking I realised, I don't think I've "heard" this chapter opening. I don't think I've really had a defining moment where I have heard this new book open and I think it's really important for me that that happens. Even if, right now, I'm not too comfortable with these new "clothes" and all, this new chapter is rebound in better clothes and I will like the way this story goes. I'm determined.
So, blogging is going to become a more weekly thing for me now. I will write about my week if I feel anything was worth talking about. At the end of each post I will document and count things I find important to feel happier.
For example:
- Amount of exercise (hoping to increase)
- Mild-serious anxiety (hoping to decrease)
- Number of new people spoken to (increase)
- Times I have felt good about how I looked before leaving the house (increase)
etc.
I will hopefully be able to see a decrease in the negative things and an increase in the positives.
I saw a thing in the newspaper about "happiness bloggers" and their blogs about... being happy in your life. One woman said she likes to make a list of things that make her happy and when you are feeling sad, upset, angry or just plain crappy, do something on that list. I'm going to make that list... Stay tuned for the official post.
So, basically, I'm deciding that bad stuff happens and it's OK that you get upset but you can get over it and you can decide to be happy, even if that bad stuff is still there inside you. That is basically what this is all about.
... Gosh, I am deep.
Okey dokey, this blog is now taking on a different form. It shall hereby serve a purpose other than just being a place for me to write stupid, pointless rants.
It shall become a place of documentation. Documentation of my hopeful increased happiness.
These lyrics up the top are important to this. For months I thought they were relevant, but only the first part about the chapter closing. At the end of high school, it was like that. It felt like you could actually hear a book closing, defiantly saying that it was the end of that chapter. I have had many mixed feelings over whether I would/do like the "new story", but as I was thinking I realised, I don't think I've "heard" this chapter opening. I don't think I've really had a defining moment where I have heard this new book open and I think it's really important for me that that happens. Even if, right now, I'm not too comfortable with these new "clothes" and all, this new chapter is rebound in better clothes and I will like the way this story goes. I'm determined.
So, blogging is going to become a more weekly thing for me now. I will write about my week if I feel anything was worth talking about. At the end of each post I will document and count things I find important to feel happier.
For example:
- Amount of exercise (hoping to increase)
- Mild-serious anxiety (hoping to decrease)
- Number of new people spoken to (increase)
- Times I have felt good about how I looked before leaving the house (increase)
etc.
I will hopefully be able to see a decrease in the negative things and an increase in the positives.
I saw a thing in the newspaper about "happiness bloggers" and their blogs about... being happy in your life. One woman said she likes to make a list of things that make her happy and when you are feeling sad, upset, angry or just plain crappy, do something on that list. I'm going to make that list... Stay tuned for the official post.
So, basically, I'm deciding that bad stuff happens and it's OK that you get upset but you can get over it and you can decide to be happy, even if that bad stuff is still there inside you. That is basically what this is all about.
... Gosh, I am deep.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Well, I Like Pretzel Day...
So, through pure luck and wonderful timetabling, I have managed to score a day off today. My Tuesdays usually consist of a one hour tutorial and that is all. That tutorial is not on today.
This could not come at a better time. As of yesterday morning, I have come to the conclusion that I am sick. So, I now have ahead of me a lovely rest day. Yes, I have study to do, but studying at home is much better than being outside, around people in this rainy weather.
So far this morning I have watched "Shortest Celebrity Unions." Yes, I spent nearly an hour of my life watching a show about celebrities who divorce quickly. My goodness, it is awful. I mean, do they not get the concept of marriage? Oh well, it was entertaining. I kinda like hearing about celebrities' lives... and marriage... so it was good. I learnt stuff too. I never knew Macauley Caulkin got married. Granted, I didn't know who half the people on the show where anyway... If anything, I only ever knew half of the couple...
On Saturday I randomly decided to start watching The Office (US version for now... I do want to watch the original UK one too) as it has been all over my Tumblr dashboard for a long time. I had to see what it was about. I remember once my dad going on about how the Americans like to steal really good British shows and make their own version and it turns out sucking. I believe he used The Office as an example. I wonder if he's ever seen it, though, because I have to say- it is funny. I really like it and have been addicted since Saturday afternoon. This was bad as I had a test on Monday and told myself on Saturday night that I could not watch anymore episodes until after the test.
... I watched, like, 6 episodes on Sunday and one on Monday morning before leaving...
As a matter of fact, I'm about to watch an episode now.
Now, despite me loving this show and finding it very funny, I often feel depressed after watching it and I kind of know why. It is Jim's fault. Jim is my favourite character. He is probably the most normal character and is funny and nice and cool and awesome and adorable and in love with the receptionist who is engaged to another man and it just makes me all depressed and my emotions and I do not know.
I saw a guy at uni yesterday who kinda looked like Jim.
I was really close to the end of this episode and it froze. Sigh.
And now the next episode doesn't have a working link. My goodness the world and internet hates me. It is true.
The episode re-loaded and I finished it and Jim aaahhhhhh ditching the wedding to go to Australia and Pam is all sad and he's all not wanting to see her get married because he loves her and ah Jim. <- This is what this show does to me...
Oh well- next episode!
This episode froze in nearly the exact same spot as the last one. Coincidence? I think not!
So, people, I may have a job. That is my exciting news. I mean, I don't want to say it's a definite yet... My mother went to a bakery and heard a guy saying he'd bring his son in to apply for a job there and the bakery woman was all, "Ah, I'd prefer a girl...." and my mum asked her questions and said she'd bring me in on Saturday. So, I went in on Saturday, handed in my resume and the woman told me that it would be a good idea to write down all the stuff they sell and the prices, to start learning. I did that and organised that I will come in for a practice in Friday afternoon. If I do not epically stuff the practice up, I should be working at a bakery, slicing bread, sweeping floors and serving customers from about 7-12 on Saturdays (not sure about Sundays). Frankly, that sounds good to me and I hope I don't stuff it up as a job would be great right now and I've been looking for months with no success. *fingers crossed*
I should really do some uni study now... Or watch more of The Office...
I don't want to read stuff.........
Um. I think that episode ended with a deep metaphor and if I interpreted it correctly, I may now want to cry.
I think this is going to be one of those posts that I just keep here all day and write random junk in until I have to leave the computer (or go to bed) and I finally post it. It shall be the story of my day. Tuesday the 20th of March 2012.
Can you believe it's already the 20th of March? I cannot...
Yesterday I was thinking about how nearly three months of this year have already gone by. I had so many expectations for this year. For it to be so much better than 2011, for so many things to change and get better. None of my expectations have really come true. I have had a lot of bombshells dropped on me and a lot of stuff has gone done yet, somehow, I have made it through nearly 3 months.
I survived 2011 and have survived three very interesting and tough and unexpected months of 2012. Well, unless I die in the next week, but I'm hoping that doesn't happen...
Let's hope I can survive the next 9 months too.
Um. I am now up to the Season 2 finale and I know what happens and I shall cry and/or feel depressed for the rest of the day. Should be fun.
I've grabbed myself a handful of M&Ms and am ready to watch this. Well, not really... emotionally.
... I watched it. I'm crying. It was an awful ending and now I don't think I can leave and not watch episode 1 of Season 3. But I must leave. I have study to do. I feel sick. And sad. And I'm teary. And asdfghjkl Jim. He will be the death of me. Until I finish this show and watch another one and get so emotionally attached to another character and then they will kill me. It is the story of my life.
I just found the new How I Met Your Mother. Dang it. I had told myself I would do some Psych readings and not watch The Office (as my heart has been broken enough and I vaguely know what happens next episode and my heart will be shattered) but now I must see new HIMYM.
... These readings are so boring and I do not care and I just want to watch HIMYM and The Office and not do work because this is boring. BORING.
I studied. For, like, 45 minutes or something and watched HIMYM.
Well, some old episodes of Friends are on soon and I have some more reading to do, I guess...
You know what I really enjoy doing? Cooking. I used to just like to bake cakes and cookies but I really like cooking dinner for the family too. I don't quite know what it is, I just like to cook. I mean, it is really nice to cook food for people, have them eat and be happy and tell you it tastes good. I guess it's like anything else... Performing music is great because it's so nice when people tell you you sounded good. It's nice to hear people say what you did is good and I never cook disgusting food so, even if they don't love what I cooked, they never hate it.
... Jim doesn't return to Scranton till the end of season 3?!?!?! I cannot handle that!! THE SCRANTON BRANCH SUCKS SO HARD WITHOUT HIM. ASDFGHJKL.
I do not know how I fell in love with a character so quickly.
I have a theory! The more frequently you become emotionally attached to characters, the quicker it happens. For example, it probably used to take me a little while to become so emotionally invested in characters. Now however, there is basically at least one character per TV show/anime that I am emotionally invested in and now, it barely takes anytime to fall for a character. For example, I'm pretty sure I had invested all of my emotions into Jim by the end of episode 1. This is an extremely unhealthy habit and is sure to have serious consequences. But oh well. Such is life.
I'm about to do some more Psych reading and I must say, although I do not want to read it and most of what I've read is not very interesting, my textbook smells nice.
END OF POST FINALLY NOW.
This could not come at a better time. As of yesterday morning, I have come to the conclusion that I am sick. So, I now have ahead of me a lovely rest day. Yes, I have study to do, but studying at home is much better than being outside, around people in this rainy weather.
So far this morning I have watched "Shortest Celebrity Unions." Yes, I spent nearly an hour of my life watching a show about celebrities who divorce quickly. My goodness, it is awful. I mean, do they not get the concept of marriage? Oh well, it was entertaining. I kinda like hearing about celebrities' lives... and marriage... so it was good. I learnt stuff too. I never knew Macauley Caulkin got married. Granted, I didn't know who half the people on the show where anyway... If anything, I only ever knew half of the couple...
On Saturday I randomly decided to start watching The Office (US version for now... I do want to watch the original UK one too) as it has been all over my Tumblr dashboard for a long time. I had to see what it was about. I remember once my dad going on about how the Americans like to steal really good British shows and make their own version and it turns out sucking. I believe he used The Office as an example. I wonder if he's ever seen it, though, because I have to say- it is funny. I really like it and have been addicted since Saturday afternoon. This was bad as I had a test on Monday and told myself on Saturday night that I could not watch anymore episodes until after the test.
... I watched, like, 6 episodes on Sunday and one on Monday morning before leaving...
As a matter of fact, I'm about to watch an episode now.
Now, despite me loving this show and finding it very funny, I often feel depressed after watching it and I kind of know why. It is Jim's fault. Jim is my favourite character. He is probably the most normal character and is funny and nice and cool and awesome and adorable and in love with the receptionist who is engaged to another man and it just makes me all depressed and my emotions and I do not know.
I saw a guy at uni yesterday who kinda looked like Jim.
I was really close to the end of this episode and it froze. Sigh.
And now the next episode doesn't have a working link. My goodness the world and internet hates me. It is true.
The episode re-loaded and I finished it and Jim aaahhhhhh ditching the wedding to go to Australia and Pam is all sad and he's all not wanting to see her get married because he loves her and ah Jim. <- This is what this show does to me...
Oh well- next episode!
This episode froze in nearly the exact same spot as the last one. Coincidence? I think not!
So, people, I may have a job. That is my exciting news. I mean, I don't want to say it's a definite yet... My mother went to a bakery and heard a guy saying he'd bring his son in to apply for a job there and the bakery woman was all, "Ah, I'd prefer a girl...." and my mum asked her questions and said she'd bring me in on Saturday. So, I went in on Saturday, handed in my resume and the woman told me that it would be a good idea to write down all the stuff they sell and the prices, to start learning. I did that and organised that I will come in for a practice in Friday afternoon. If I do not epically stuff the practice up, I should be working at a bakery, slicing bread, sweeping floors and serving customers from about 7-12 on Saturdays (not sure about Sundays). Frankly, that sounds good to me and I hope I don't stuff it up as a job would be great right now and I've been looking for months with no success. *fingers crossed*
I should really do some uni study now... Or watch more of The Office...
I don't want to read stuff.........
Um. I think that episode ended with a deep metaphor and if I interpreted it correctly, I may now want to cry.
I think this is going to be one of those posts that I just keep here all day and write random junk in until I have to leave the computer (or go to bed) and I finally post it. It shall be the story of my day. Tuesday the 20th of March 2012.
Can you believe it's already the 20th of March? I cannot...
Yesterday I was thinking about how nearly three months of this year have already gone by. I had so many expectations for this year. For it to be so much better than 2011, for so many things to change and get better. None of my expectations have really come true. I have had a lot of bombshells dropped on me and a lot of stuff has gone done yet, somehow, I have made it through nearly 3 months.
I survived 2011 and have survived three very interesting and tough and unexpected months of 2012. Well, unless I die in the next week, but I'm hoping that doesn't happen...
Let's hope I can survive the next 9 months too.
Um. I am now up to the Season 2 finale and I know what happens and I shall cry and/or feel depressed for the rest of the day. Should be fun.
I've grabbed myself a handful of M&Ms and am ready to watch this. Well, not really... emotionally.
... I watched it. I'm crying. It was an awful ending and now I don't think I can leave and not watch episode 1 of Season 3. But I must leave. I have study to do. I feel sick. And sad. And I'm teary. And asdfghjkl Jim. He will be the death of me. Until I finish this show and watch another one and get so emotionally attached to another character and then they will kill me. It is the story of my life.
I just found the new How I Met Your Mother. Dang it. I had told myself I would do some Psych readings and not watch The Office (as my heart has been broken enough and I vaguely know what happens next episode and my heart will be shattered) but now I must see new HIMYM.
... These readings are so boring and I do not care and I just want to watch HIMYM and The Office and not do work because this is boring. BORING.
I studied. For, like, 45 minutes or something and watched HIMYM.
Well, some old episodes of Friends are on soon and I have some more reading to do, I guess...
You know what I really enjoy doing? Cooking. I used to just like to bake cakes and cookies but I really like cooking dinner for the family too. I don't quite know what it is, I just like to cook. I mean, it is really nice to cook food for people, have them eat and be happy and tell you it tastes good. I guess it's like anything else... Performing music is great because it's so nice when people tell you you sounded good. It's nice to hear people say what you did is good and I never cook disgusting food so, even if they don't love what I cooked, they never hate it.
... Jim doesn't return to Scranton till the end of season 3?!?!?! I cannot handle that!! THE SCRANTON BRANCH SUCKS SO HARD WITHOUT HIM. ASDFGHJKL.
I do not know how I fell in love with a character so quickly.
I have a theory! The more frequently you become emotionally attached to characters, the quicker it happens. For example, it probably used to take me a little while to become so emotionally invested in characters. Now however, there is basically at least one character per TV show/anime that I am emotionally invested in and now, it barely takes anytime to fall for a character. For example, I'm pretty sure I had invested all of my emotions into Jim by the end of episode 1. This is an extremely unhealthy habit and is sure to have serious consequences. But oh well. Such is life.
I'm about to do some more Psych reading and I must say, although I do not want to read it and most of what I've read is not very interesting, my textbook smells nice.
END OF POST FINALLY NOW.
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