Monday 21 March 2011

I'm Sharing A Late Night Bath in the Moonlight With My Professor. What Does That Mean?

Heh. Funny scene from an anime I am slowly watching, 'Honey and Clover'. Two naked guys, one being the teacher of the other, in a hot spring late at night. Well, only that line was funny, the rest was total serious business, bros. Anyway, you may wonder why on Earth I was watching anime when I have my first Year 12 Maths A exam tomorrow.. That would be because I am stupid. Or stooopid :P
Serious. I know that this exam is a big deal and I want to do so well so badly. And I want to do a solid study session, but I cannot physically, mentally or emotionally bring myself to do it. I can bring myself to bring my textbook and notebook out to the living room and look at pages and go, "Yeah, I get that" while watching Friends, That 70s Show or How I Met Your Mother. Why must I be so addicted to these sitcoms? I have such mental conflicts because half of my mind wants to do SO well and just kick everyone's butts this year and be all, "YEAH! WOO! See? I owned year 12!" The other half is all, "Screw that. I wanna watch anime." And my unstable emotional state does not help. I mean, I got upset after a doctor's appointment this morning because the doctor doesn't really know what is wrong with me but she suspects it's something pretty minor. I started crying at the start of Wicked because I didn't want to be over, and it had barely even started... I get so angry too. I swear my emotions are just sitting on a sea-saw or something. I can be SO high at times and then one little thing will kind of annoy me and I'll get depressed for the next hour. I also can say confidently that, although I hate school and my mood fluctuates like crazy when I'm there, my mood will just drop when I get home. Well, if I'm just chilling in my room, I'm alright-ish. But once my family starts talking to me I get angry and say things without thinking- things that make them angry and it goes from there. I am a master of vicious cycles. I mean, I know that I am just participating in a long cycle, whether it be with school, school work or family or just personal stuff, but I don't change it. I sit there and go, "Man. I do this all the time. I should stop. But I don't. And I won't," and sure enough, I do the same thing again. Woah. I'm not even sure all that made sense. Well, I'm tired so don't judge me. Gosh. Anyway, I'm not sure I intended for that post to get that depressing or anything. I actually didn't intend on writing anything specific; I just wanted to use that quote as a blog title. Heh. See? This is what happens when I don't stick to my Study For Today List. I watch anime and then blog because there was a funny quote in the anime. My lists usually work, but not today. Well, I should at least commend myself for not doing my Fruits Basket rant post today, because I could talk about that show/manga for hours. And probably will. But not now. No. So, I'm pretty sure this blog post just ate up all my designated Music Extension time.. Oh well, it's good to vent. Comparing duets from different musicals doesn't help me vent. It just leads to me listening to David Harris repeatedly. Very unproductive.

Alright, I think I tried to end that post three times then... Heh.

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